Thursday, March 24, 2011

Unfolding Uncertainty

I was talking to a 9th grader at my daughter's dance recital the other day.  She was relating to me how her school makes the kids do some major research report on jobs they'd like to do and then meet with interviewers and recruiters in their senior year.  She said there is a lot of pressure to figure it out already.  Really, 9th grade?  I told her I changed my major 5 times in my first 2 years of college.  I'm not even sure I know what I want to be when I grow up yet!!  I know, at my age I better figure it out soon, right?  Back in college I took a writing class which I loved.  I poured my heart and soul into my papers, only to be met with relative indifference by my professor.  Three or four years later I tried again but on my own this time.  I started writing a novel.  I wrote the first chapter, and it was good.  Then my computer froze.  I could have handwritten it, but I didn't.  I shut the computer down.  Fast forward 17 years...I'm at it again.  I restarted that novel.  My computer hasn't frozen, but I haven't written in weeks, at least not my novel.  I type for a living doing medical transcription.  I type someone else's thoughts.  Ho hum.  Not exactly creating, but I'm getting the grammar and punctuation rules down.  ;-)

I started writing homeschool curriculum.  I'm researching ragtime and jazz musicians and the history around that time to create something for an early 20th century American music class.  I love doing the research but, again, it's been weeks since I've touched it.  I started this blog 2 or 3 weeks ago.  It is the one thing I have been relatively consistently writing, probably because I don't have to write a lot if I don't have the time.  I want to write more.  I want to share my stories with people, if I could just finish something.  It's kind of like my house.  I have so many unfinished projects.  My office has 2 completely painted walls, one partially, and one not at all.  The bulkhead in my kitchen has one Wallie (those wallpaper stencils).  I intended to put up about 10 or 12 and stencil words in between.  I should just take the one Wallie down.

If I could just get to writing and find out whether or not I'm good enough to make a living from it, then I could maybe move onto the next stage of my life and try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

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