The Purpose of Parenting

I don't usually sit and ponder the purpose of parenting.  I just do it. There's not a lot a time in the midst of it for great reflection. Sometimes, though, something will occur that forces me to think about it. That thing this week was my completely empty and quiet house.  I had been Facebook posting with a friend about the fact that neither one of us had gotten enough letters from our kids while they were at camp despite providing them with an ample supply of self-addressed stamped envelopes.  (I got one letter but had three kids at camp.  She didn't get anything from her daughter.)

The quiet is probably what caused me to reflect most.  Since I did not have three other people I had to take care of this week, I was left with a little bit of time to myself.  "So," I thought, "what is the purpose of being a parent?  What am I doing here?"  I know there are people who think it all through before becoming pregnant.  There are some who don't think about it all. John and I were somewhere in the middle. I suppose your philosophy in life can have a lot to do with why you become a parent.  For most, probably, it is just a natural next step in life, especially after marriage.  Isn't that just what most people do?

So, you've had a kid or two or eight (yes, I do know some with 7 and 8).  What do you do with them now?  Why has God given you these children?  What are you supposed to do with them now that you have them?  Sure, we feed them, and we keep them clean.  We teach them their colors and their ABCs.  For some, they are sent them off to school to learn the rest.  Others teach them at home to learn the rest.  Is that where it ends?  Of course not!  There is so much more to life than teaching the academics.  They need to learn how to function in this world that is full of other people.  What does it mean to be a contributing member of society?  How will they have meaningful, lasting relationships?  What is proper etiquette in various situations?  How do they figure out what God's purpose is for them in life?

Do we raise them so they stay home with us for the rest of their lives?  NO!  We raise them and hold them close while they're little so that eventually we can let them go.  We raise them to hopefully be able to be independent in their own lives.  I know as I reflected this week on my role as a parent I was struck by the incredible task I've been given.  I've got five years and then I will send my oldest out into the world.  I hope that I am instilling in him a love for the Lord Jesus so much so that it dominates every aspect of his life, especially when he's on his own, when his dad and I aren't around to keep him safe and help him reason through a situation.  He needs to be able to figure out what God's purpose is for his life.  I don't want any of my kids to be so dependent on me that they cannot function in society, that they cannot "cut the cord" so to speak and figure out who they are and what their life should look like.

Perhaps all this talk about our kids finding out what their purpose is in life has caused you to wonder what your purpose is.  I mean, isn't that why our parents raised us?  They hopefully taught us enough to go out into the world and live independently, fulfilling that God-given purpose for our lives.  Well, if you are a parent, that is your purpose whether you planned it or not.  I know there are so many other things in our lives besides being a parent.  I've got the burners on at least 5 stoves filled myself.  But is there anything more important than raising honest, trustworthy, kind, generous...children, children who have more going on for them than just being a really good book learner?  They may make a lot of money if they are good book learners, but they will impact others and the rest of the world more if they are "trained up" in the "way they should go." (Proverbs 22:6)

Take parenting seriously.  Think about the future.  People used to say to me when I'd hit hard times with my kids "This too shall pass."  It does, but don't let their childhood pass without you instilling in them values which they can then pass onto their children who will impact the next generation and so on and so on.

God's Blessing to You!!

The Privilege of Teaching

After we dropped our kids off at camp on Sunday, my husband and I stopped at Barnes and Noble so he could find a book that would help him improve his leadership skills.  While there, I perused the bargain book section.  I don't think I ever look at any other section in that store to be honest with you.  As I walked from aisle to aisle, I noticed a photography book for $9.98.  It was a guide to learning about photography.  It was a thick book with a lot of pictures, but it also had a lot of instruction in it.  It talked about types of cameras, the parts of a camera, and every subject related to taking pictures you can think of.

I realized that I hadn't formally decided what we were going to do for art class this year.  Last year we studied architecture; the year before we studied modern artists like Mondrian and Chagall.  We touched on Ansel Adams but didn't talk in detail about photography.  I decided to buy the book and use it for our "curriculum."

On the way home, I was reminded of the incredible privilege I have been given to teach my kids and to teach friends' children at our co-op and at 4H.  There are countless topics in every subject to teach on.  I sometimes try to find topics that haven't been discussed by me or anyone else yet such as architecture or cheesecake baking, etc.  I like the idea of exposing kids to new things, things they wouldn't have thought of learning about or things perhaps their parents don't want to teach.  It provides the opportunity for them to find something they love to learn about or do with their hands.  I would be honored beyond belief if just one child came to me when they got older and said, "Remember when you taught that class years ago?  That's what I want to go to college to learn how to do."  It may never happen, but I know I am doing what God wants me to do simply due to the shear pleasure I get from teaching.

The Week Ahead

All three kids go to camp in two days.  They will be gone Sunday through Friday.  Things will be very quiet here during the day.  I find myself daydreaming about all the things I could get done.  I have a book to write.  I have an entire house to paint.  I could watch some movies, or I could finish reading my book.  I have to have surgery on Monday, and I have to work all week (bleh).  I'm hoping to work all my daily hours in the morning/afternoon so that all my evenings are free.  We'll see how that goes.

I would love to relax a little, maybe get rid of some of this stress I've got that displays itself at night while I'm sleeping and clenching my teeth.  Maybe having all my evenings free would enable my body to relax for a change.  If it works, what will I do when the kids come back?  Do we do school in the evening?  I wonder if any homeschool families do this, have school in the evening while mom/dad work in the morning?  It would be interesting to say the least.

We started school on July 5th, but it has been very disorganized despite my efforts at being organized.  I told John yesterday that I feel like I'm living in an antipasto salad.  Everything is just thrown into a bowl and mixed up.  There are big chunks of meat like work and teaching my kids mixed in with other things that don't take up as much time but are no less important to the flavor of the salad.  There are a lot of little extras in my salad like  writing my book or reading, getting things done around the house, etc.  Hopefully, while the kids are away, I'll be able to organize school a bit better for when they get back.  We'll see.

I think I'll put so many different things on my plate that I won't want to even get started.  Again, we'll see how it goes.  I'll be amazed if I accomplish half of what I set out to do in the one short week I've got.

Blueberry Raspberry Cheesecake

 For a wedding present for some friends, I gave them a certificate to the "Cheesecake of the Month" club.  Every month I make them cheesecake.  I love making cheesecakes.  It is cathartic for me.  Many people complain that it is too difficult, but it really isn't.  I find it quite enjoyable.

For a while now, I have wanted to blog about a cheesecake I have made so that you can follow the directions in order to make your own.  This last one I made was my own creation of a patriotic cheesecake made with blueberry and raspberry jam.  It wasn't quite as red, white, and blue as I would have liked.  Food coloring would probably need to be added if you wanted a bright blue and red.

Anyway, here is the recipe and a description of the process including pictures.

1 cup crushed Nilla wafers

1/4 cup melted butter
3 8-ounce blocks of cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/3 cup blueberry preserves
1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam
3 tablespoons flour, divided


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Crush Nilla wafers to equal one cup and mix with the melted butter in a bowl.  Press cookie crumbs into bottom of a 9" springform pan and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees F.  Remove from oven.

In a large mixer bowl, put in your 3 softened blocks of cream cheese.  Most recipes will say mix cream cheese and sugar together, but I like to smooth the cream cheese first before I add the sugar.

So, then add the sugar and mix until smooth.  It'll look like the above picture.  Now, it's time to add the eggs. I crack them one at a time and place them into a clear glass bowl, just to be sure I don't have any shells.  I then add the eggs one at a time to the cream cheese, mixing each egg in before adding the next egg.

Now, add the 1-1/2 teaspoons of vanilla.  Mix until combined.  Be sure to scrape the extra cream cheese off the sides so it all gets incorporated and give it a last spin or two to mix it up.

Now, separate the mixture into thirds (roughly 1-1/2 cups each), placing each third into a separate bowl (you can leave one third in the mixer bowl).

Take 1/3 cup blueberry preserves and mix it in a smaller bowl with 1-1/2 tablespoons flour.  Do the same with the 1/3 cup raspberry preserves.  

Add each fruit mixture to one third of the cream cheese and stir well.  At this point, if you wanted brighter blue and red, add blue food coloring to the blueberry and red food coloring to the raspberry.

Pour the blueberry/cream cheese mixture on top of the cookie crust.  The next layer will be the plain cream cheese mixture.  Slowly and gently drop dollops on top of blueberry mixture.  When you've used all of the plain mixture, very slowly and gently spread it around, being careful to not mix it with the blueberry.  Repeat this process with the raspberry layer.

Now, put your cheesecake in the oven at 350 degrees F (the oven should still be on) for one hour.  You know your cheesecake is done when the center of it still jiggles slightly.  It should not be liquidy, and it should not be stiff like a flour cake.  It should jiggle like Jell-O.  Take it out of the oven and place it on a cooling rack.  I run a sharp knife around the inside of the pan to release the edges of the cake from the pan to help prevent cracking.  I will then take a piece of aluminum foil and wrap it around the pan like a tent, allowing heat to escape out the back.  One reason why cheesecakes crack is because of the cooler air that flows around them.  The draft can cause your cake to crack.

Let it cool for about one-half hour and then place it in the refrigerator.  I usually put it in as is, cooling rack, tent, and all.  Allow it to chill for at least 3-4 hours before removing it from the pan.

When you are ready to slice it, remove the sides of the springform pan.  Fill a tall cup or bowl with VERY hot water and dip a very sharp knife into the hot water, allowing the blade to become hot.  Wipe the water off and then slice the cheesecake in half.  Do this for each new slice you make.  Wipe the excess cheesecake off, dip the knife in water, and then cut a new slice.  This will give you nearly perfect slices and won't cause the cheesecake to glob up on your knife.  You can put some of the leftover blueberry preserves and raspberry jam on top of your cheesecake to sweeten it up (as if it needs it).  Enjoy!! 

Reading about a Rebellion

I'm reading a great book about a rebellion.  So many things that are said in this book could easily relate to our country today.  The main characters are lawyers and politicians, doctors and farmers, and small businessmen.  There are also trained soldiers and a king.  There is so much pride on the part of the king.  He thinks he can squash the rebellion.  He believes his soldiers are so much better equipped in war than the people they are fighting.  He doesn't understand that when people unite for a common cause, especially when God goes before them, they can accomplish anything.  When we are fighting for something that is right, when we use our voice, when we take action, we can succeed.  This book I am reading is called, Rise to Rebellion, by Jeff Shaara.

Shaara is a master in the history of the American Revolution and in imagery as he writes.  You feel like you are there in each scene he portrays, like when Ben Franklin is pacing around in his room to get much needed exercise or when the Boston Massacre takes place.  He details things so vividly you can't help but get totally engrossed in this book.

If you enjoying reading about history and haven't read this one yet, I HIGHLY recommend it.  I have a friend who got the audio book of it and loved it.  He's now reading The Glorious Cause, also by Shaara.

I can't help but be thankful, during this July 4th weekend, for those who fought so valiantly for our independence over 200 years ago and for those who have fought in all wars between then and now and who continue to protect us as a country and fight to keep us free.  THANK YOU.

Here's a link to the book on Amazon IF you are interested.

I Feel Like Edison

I feel a little like Thomas Edison.  He tried 2000 experiments in search of a filament that would work in his light bulb.  He didn't see them as failures but as a way to narrow down the possibilities in search of the one idea that would work.  That is what I'm doing, on a smaller scale.  I just received word from a transcription company I applied to last week that I didn't get the job.  Okay, one door closed.  I know that isn't the direction I'm supposed to go.  I still would like to start my business on line, but I have to come up with the money to start it.  I am still writing.  I'll probably finish my book before I come up with the money for my business.  If no one publishes my book, I'll know that wasn't the direction I was supposed to go, but I am having fun writing it.  I also enjoy hearing from my friends how much they like it, at least I've been able to brighten a few people's days through it.

So, I trudge on, grateful that when God closes doors he opens windows.  I just have to keep stepping through them.  I must remain faithful to his guiding.  By the way, I still have the Pillsbury Bake-Off!!  ;-)

Writing, Waiting, and Wanting

I set a goal in January to write a novel this year.  I think I've changed it 4 or 5 times since I started, especially if you include the one time I started it 18 years ago.  Just recently, after not having written anything for a couple of months, I decided to start it again from a fresh angle.  I've got one of my friends reading it.  Her encouragement keeps me writing chapter after chapter.  Hopefully sometime this year I'll finish it and send out my query letters to publishers and one of them will pick it up.

I am also wanting to start a business online.  I was hoping to get it started sometime this summer, but I've got paperwork to file and attorneys to pay first.  I also have to finish writing some of the homeschool curriculum that I want to sell.  I've got another friend testing out one of the products I developed.  Hopefully it'll work like I'm hoping it will.

I am waiting to hear about another transcription job possibility.  I've grown increasingly frustrated with the company I currently work for and am wanting a new job.  I took an assessment on Friday, but I am waiting for them to evaluate it and get back to me.  I don't like being in the dark, not knowing what is going on.  I like to have some control over the situation that I am in.  Maybe that's why I feel right now like I am in a blender that has been turned on (to steal the imagery from Luke McClain).

Oh, if just one thing that is in the works would crystallize into something meaningful, then I would know what direction my life is supposed to go in...at least for now.

Thankful I'm Not The One In Charge

Last Sunday was promotion Sunday at church.  The 5th graders got to move up to the Junior High class, and the 8th graders moved over to the Senior High.  Nate got to join the Junior High.  To set the morning apart from the regular routine and so it would feel special, the 6th through 12th graders were all in the same room worshiping together.

After we sang 5 or 6 songs, one of the youth gave her testimony.  We sang 6 or 7 more songs, and another one of the youth gave his testimony.  This particular student is in the Senior High group.  I think he's going to be a preacher some day.  His words were very serious, maybe almost a little scary for the younger kids.  He seems like he is one who spends a lot of time thinking about God and how the world is, in relation to his faith.  We finished the morning by singing more songs.

Another leader and I commented to each other that we were surprised they planned to sing all morning.  I was worried the younger students would be bored.  I am thankful I'm not the one in charge.  If I had planned it, we wouldn't have sang so much.  God put it within the hearts and minds of those planning to sing that many worship songs.  He knew what he wanted done!

By the end of the morning, the kids were standing on chairs.  They were clapping.  They were dancing.  They were singing loudly.  They were having a blast.  I don't know too many churches where the kids are able to rock out on Sunday morning, but I sure am glad I go to one.  My attitude changed that morning.  I was a little worried that sitting in a regular class the following week might seem boring to them compared to what they had just experienced.

This morning was the first "regular" class of the summer.  We are going through the Bible in 2 years, in depth.  We looked at Creation this morning.  Luke, the Junior High youth pastor, is challenging the kids to really examine God's Word to see things in it they may have never seen before.  At the same time, we leaders are being challenged.  It stood out to me that the Bible says, 'In the beginning, God..."  We all know that phrase, but think about it a minute.  God doesn't have a beginning.  He just is, always was, always will be, but at some point in his being he wanted to make us.  He wanted a relationship with us.  The beginning is mankind's beginning, not God's.  He'd have been perfectly content with just being, but he wanted to make us.  We are his craftsmanship.  He loves us.  We were wanted by God.  We are wanted by God.  That is so cool to me!

I'm excited to see how we will all grow this summer.  The kids, especially, are blessed to have this opportunity.  I wish I had had something like it when I was their age.  I'm glad we're never to old to learn.

Isn't It Supposed to be Summer?

I wrote something else on my calendar for June this morning.  As I finished writing, I realized that I only have a few days left where nothing is written.  Isn't this supposed to be summer?  Isn't the pace of life supposed to slow down?

Mind you, I am also working every day, so I'm either working around these activities or flexing my time to later in the week.  July doesn't look that bad, but it is still early.  I'm sure I can find plenty of activities to fill each day, but I'd really like to learn the secret of a slower life.  Of course, those times when I don't have any pressing need or something that just has to get done and can sit down and read or watch a TV show I feel guilty for wasting time and get up to do something.  Perhaps I just don't know how to relax.  Maybe when my kids are all off to college.  Maybe not.

Getting Started

I decided the other day to stop wallowing and get started on this business idea.  I wasn't getting anything done sitting around doing nothing.  I think part of my hesitation was the fact that I don't like making phone calls.  I would much rather talk to someone in person, at least most of the time.  I left a message yesterday at the borough's zoning office.  In the afternoon, someone called me back to tell me I didn't need to talk to them but to the tax office.  I called the tax office who told me that I'd just need to pay quarterly taxes and register for a sales tax license through the state but that our senator's office was right in downtown Canonsburg so I could go there and get what I needed.  The man at the tax office must have never gone there to get something.  He might not have been so quick to say this if he had.

Well, anyway, I was so excited that the ball started rolling I jumped in my car and headed to the Senator's office.  The older gentleman who was there asked if he could help me.  I told him I was interested in starting a business and that I'd like any information he could give me.  He stared at me.  That was a little awkward.  He asked what my business was and said I'd need a sales tax license.  He printed the forms from online for me.  I was happy to see my tax dollars at work in the form of ink and paper that I myself didn't have to waste at home.  He asked me what else I needed.  Well, I'm just getting started.  I don't know what I need.  That's why I came to you.

I asked some questions.  He asked some questions.  When I gave him an answer, he'd stare at me.  I almost think he was shuffling through the "virtual files" in his mind to find the right solution.  He gave me a little bit more information and then I left.

My neighbor gave me the name of an attorney she thought could help me, but I didn't want to make a phone call.  I posted on Facebook that I was looking for advice.  My dilemma was whether or not to become a sole proprietorship or a limited liability corporation.  After getting differing opinions, I decided my best bet was to make the phone call.  This morning, I called the office of Smith Butz Attorneys at Law and talked to Brian Lawton, Esquire.  He spent about a half an hour on the phone with me answering all my questions without knowing whether or not I'd even use him.  That spoke volumes to me.  He was also VERY knowledgeable.  Of course, there is a fee with using an attorney, not a cheap fee, but I would know that everything would be done correctly in the long run; and I wouldn't spend hours online learning what I needed to do and hoping, just hoping, I did everything right.  Besides, I have a ton of other things I need to do online to get this business off the ground, like prepare items to sell!!  I will probably meet with him in about a month, as soon as I have a couple of things I feel are ready to sell.  Oh, I do have to come up with a name for my business that uses my last name.  Any ideas?

Bored with the Status Quo

Well, I handed in my kids' portfolios this past week...another school year completely over.  Now it's on to filing affidavit and objectives for next year, but I don't want to sit down and write them.  There has been little to no work this week with my job to the point that when there is work to do I have no motivation to do it.  I have a lot of projects (like a massive amount of painting) to do around the house to try to get it ready for selling next year, but I either don't have the money to buy what I need to do them or, again, lack the motivation.

I get frustrated with myself when I eat too many calories in a day.  I know I need to exercise more, but I just don't really enjoy exercising inside.  I'd rather hike somewhere.  When we went camping last weekend and took a long hike, that was great!!  I loved that, but we don't live near a really good hiking place.  When I think about doing anything, I think to myself, "It's just easier to stay home and do nothing."  What is that?  I wish I knew what my problem was.

I just said to John the other day that I feel discontent.  The Bible tells us to be content, so I feel like I'm wrong.  But then I've got to wonder, if I'm discontent with the status quo, could it be God's way of telling me to get off my butt and change something.  I like change, so why is it so hard?  The status quo is easier I guess.  There is no unknown in the status quo.

I find that I am irritated with myself when I think of the changes other people are making.  I drive past a bakery that just opened a few months ago in Canonsburg.  I think to myself, "I could have done that."  I hear of friends who are writing books or selling homeschool curriculum that they wrote, and I think, "I could have done that."  I get involved in the excitement going on in other people's lives and find myself getting discouraged that I am doing nothing in my own life.

Am I lazy?  Is it just that the school year ended and my brain has gone into hibernation?  Am I afraid of the unknown, or I am afraid of failing?  Who knows?  It is probably a bit of all of those.  I am really hoping that my discontent will soon spur me on to something exciting, something that I feel I should have been doing all along and then, hopefully, I can get out of the rut of the status quo.

To Camp or Not to Camp

We went camping this weekend in Cook Forest State Park.  Two years ago on Memorial Day weekend, we went to Cook Forest.  We ended up there as a result of an online reservation error on my part.  While there, we met two great families who were camping right beside us.  Last year, we didn't go camping because we had just gotten back from vacation two weeks prior to Memorial Day weekend.  I felt it would have been too much.  We decided we were definitely going to back this year.  We made reservations about 4-5 months ago to stay right beside our friends from two years ago.

We arrived on Saturday at about 2:30.  Our friends had gotten there the day before.  It was so great to see them again.  Their kids have grown so much in two years, as did ours, and all of our kids got along so well.  I hope this tradition of camping with them continues.  It is fun to see the kids play together and get along like they do even though they don't know each other all that well.

Cook Forest is a great place to camp.  There are many different things to do there like fishing (there is a kid area that is stocked), horseback riding, canoeing/kayaking, miniature golf, go-karts, water slides, hiking, bike riding, etc.  The possibilities are truly endless.  This campground is clean and large.  It is very spacious.  The bathrooms are relatively clean (obviously not like your bathroom at home but much better than some campgrounds we've been to).  The forest is absolutely beautiful!!

 

 


Saturday night we sat around telling stories and making s'mores on our friends' campfire.  When we went to bed, it had gotten chilly.  People were making a lot of noise, like people often do at campgrounds, so it took a while to fall asleep.  When we woke in the morning, it was damp and cold.  I don't like being cold to begin with, and I don't especially like being damp.  Sunday night wasn't cold, but we were rushed to bed by the rain.  It wouldn't be a Bairen family camping trip if it didn't rain at night at least once.  Thankfully it didn't rain hard or long.

Sunday morning John and the kids fished for 4 hours...catch and release.  I read some and kept falling asleep. Then we went for a 4-mile hike to a fire tower (picture above) after lunch.  Two years ago we hiked to the tower, then down a really steep hill to the river, then back up to the original trail via a 3-mile long hike that wasn't quite so steep as getting down to the river.  We didn't have enough water or food for being gone as long as we were.  John and the kids didn't like the idea of doing that again, so we hiked to the tower and back the road that leads out to the highway.  Of course, after that hike, ice cream was in order.  So, after dinner we went and got ice cream where they have the miniature golf and go karts.  Yum!!

We packed up this morning quickly and efficiently and headed home.  I enjoyed most of the weekend except for the cold, damp night and not feeling very organized with food preparations while camping.  I told John next year we bring breakfast foods, snacks, and drinks, but we need to eat lunch and dinner at local restaurants.  I do have a little trouble not having MY kitchen.  :-(

So, to camp or not to camp, that is the question.  I say...TO CAMP.  I love hanging out with our friends.  I love relaxing and not having to work.  I love hiking and doing the other activities.  I just need to be a bit more organized to do it right and enjoy it more.  I guess next year, though, we'll be trying a different campground.  It'll probably rain at least a little bit, but we'll have funny anyhow.  I guarantee it!

Unfolding a New Job?

I think I may have figured out a way to sell some of my things that is better than eBay...Amazon.com.

I keep putting stuff on eBay, but no one is bidding on anything I put on there.  I put some books on Half.com as well.  I remembered that when I go to Amazon to buy something I always see used items people are trying to sell.  I decided to try it myself.  I put on a KitchenAid food grinder attachment.  Within the first 3 days, it sold.  I put a kids' orchestra book on a little later.  It sold yesterday.

It is a bit easier to sell on Amazon than it is on eBay.  To get started, open up an Amazon.com account. Click the "Your Account" tab on the top right.  On the right hand side is a box that says, "Your Other Accounts" and then "Your Seller Account."  When you first open a seller's account, you enter your information and then they call you.  During the phone call, you enter a PIN number they have displayed on your computer screen.  You also enter your checking account information so that they can direct deposit your earnings into your account.

Now, if I am selling a book, all I have to do is type in the ISBN. It loads all the information about the book for the buyer.  I simply need to detail the condition of the book and what I am charging.  Once it sells, I have to package it and mail it, but I don't have to take any pictures and I don't have to figure out shipping.  They charge a flat rate to the buyer depending on the type of product.

If I am selling something besides a book, I find that item on Amazon and then enter the condition and price, etc.  It is truly that simple.  If someone buys your item, you get an email from the Amazon Marketplace with notification that it sold and instructions about shipping and notifying the seller that the item has shipped.

I had no transcription work this morning, probably because of the holiday, so I think I'll take advantage of this free time and get to work on my new job.  I've got lots of stuff I can sell!!